arbitrary constant >> latw

A sideways glance at proceedings

Life After The Womb began at some point in the year 2000 as a weekly column for a student newspaper. Originally intended as an arena in which late-night conversations could be brought fully into the daylight hours, it soon attracted a devoted following which fluctuated from week to week according to the number of patients that had been discharged from the local mental institutions.

Three years after its inception, graduation curtailed the only medium with low enough standards to publish LATW, at which point it found itself languishing in the queue for benefits cheques on Thursday morning at the Post Office. That is, until arbitrary constant was kind enough to offer it a home. In the move, most of the old files were lost and it is only now that some are coming to light; thus there is a heady mixture of recent and very old LATWs on display, each revealing a peculiar approach to the third-person formal and first-person informal styles of writing.

The archive, which is available below, is updated at irregular intervals with new additions closest to the top.

>> angry/disappointed {permutations on the classic parental admonishment}
>> crap institute {how to be an MTV rock star in several expensive lessons}
>> sorry adjectives {"we would like to apologise for everything"}
>> what's wrong {what's wrong? don't ask...}
>> serious crime squad {surely all crime is serious? so what is with the name?}
>> techno queen {even the queen has an email address}
>> sister rosa III {the cultural nun on the lyrics of david bowie}
>> horses {richard III had a point}
>> the tube {the world of harry beck}
>> snow white {life after the hit film}
>> parliament {the upholstery of democracy}
>> film {unsuitable adjectives for unremarkable films}
>> quiz shows {the government's shameful education secret}
>> robot wars {a hybrid of successful television programmes}
>> dog walkers {the sinister truth behind the do-gooders}
>> antiques road show {old ladies cashing in on history}
>> hamster energy {don't let your hamster smoke}
>> the wheel {invention the first time around}
>> s or z? {another cause of anti-americanism?}
>> charity {nobody likes people who wear bibs for a living}
>> lobbying {hone your demonstration techniques}
>> dictionary hopping {a lesson in bullying avoidance}
>> sister rosa I {the hipster nun on heaven}
>> sister rosa II {nun number 1 on god in contemporary culture}
>> cheese {nightmare experimentation}
>> 7p onions {how can the root vegetable be that cheap?}
>> pizza hut {the solution to the great divide}
>> kp crisps {a public health announcement}
>> guns {amnesty, but not international in spirit}
>> fonts {the vehicles of all knowledge}

Life After The Womb

A sideways glance at proceedings

Site navigation

Text widgets